The Fear of Sleep

Father, you are what we need. There is nothing on earth that alone could satisfy, but you, O Lord, have satisfied us with the highest level of satisfaction. I do not wish to want the things I do, I wish to want you alone, but I find myself lacking. Daily, I lose focus on you; daily, I forget the things of God; daily, I am unworthy to be in your presence, but your great love has shown mercy upon our disgusting souls. You have cleansed us that we may be seen as holy, but may we always strive to be holy through our actions. Not because this makes us holy, but because we desire to be like you. Not because we think we can be perfected, but because you have called us out of the world and into righteousness. We thank you Father for your grace upon us who are so unworthy. Amen.

I have told people that death doesn't scare me anymore because of my faith; that is a lie. I apologize to those who have heard me say that, for it was out of pride that I claim such a faith. I profess that my fear of death has truly been lessened but not diminished. I do not fear because I believe I may be wrong in my faith; I do not fear because I worry God may not exist. I fear because of the unknown. I fear change, and what greater change is there than that of leaving the sinful body we have always known? I am about to head off to college and I fear that change as well. It is an anxious fear of what I have not yet experienced. It is the fear of something new. I encourage you brothers and sisters, do not fear death as I do. Learn to encounter the unknown with boldness and excitement of what is to come. If you fear death because you worry God may not exist, than may God increase your faith; if you fear God for the reason I do, than may change be a blessing in your life, not a wall; and if you do not fear death, than may God increase your fear of him.

What are we to compare death to? For what can amount to such a change? Is there not an analogy that can be used for this departure from earth? The Bible gives us a parallel for death; namely, "falling asleep". I want to think on these things.

When Stephen, the first Christian Martyr, was stoned, Acts uses the term fallen asleep to describe Stephen's death. When Jesus heals a boy who has died, he says the boy is just "asleep" prior to raising him. When Paul talks of, in first Thessalonians four, the prophets of old who have died, he talks of them as having fallen asleep. Why is sleep used as a parallel for this terrible thing called death? Sleep is not the first thing that comes to mind when I parallel things with death. Death is bad and sleep is good. Why is this used throughout the Bible as the explanation for death?

When we sleep, the body is no longer under our conscious control. The body goes from a state of acting, doing, and being, to one of rest, dream, and subliminal understanding. Many people actually believe that sleep reveals who we really are. For example, people say, if you dream about so-and-so, than you are probably this kind of thinker. What we dream about is often thought to reveal our true thoughts and passions. Why do I bring this up? Because I believe it is much like death. When we die, our true self will be revealed in Christ. We will be shown who we were always created to be, for in a fallen world, this knowledge is forgotten.

Through death, God will give us rest, God will show us who we are without the presence of a fallen world. Sleep is the perfect parallel, because in sleep, we are granted rest, but nothing compared to the rest death now grants us. Rest from the evils of this world, rest from temptation, rest from hate, rest from sin, rest from anxiety. It is interesting to me that the cure for my fear of death is to experience it. Once I experience it, I believe I will be ever so joyful to have done so. Once Christ takes me home, I believe the joy of the Lord will overwhelm my soul and no longer must I worry about change, no longer must I fear the new, but only must I fear the God who has granted me love, grace, and joy through using the new.

"And falling to his knees he cried out with a loud voice, 'Lord, do not hold this sin against them.' And when he had said this, he fell asleep." - Acts 7:60