Almighty God, what words should we use to praise you? What language is adequate to bear such a name? Oh, how we desire your love and your presence; and oh, how you have so graciously granted such blessings upon your unworthy children. Why do you find favor upon us? For we do not understand, but we praise you because your ways are so much greater and you do have understanding in the things we don't. We thank you for the blessings bestowed upon us daily, and we pray for our brothers and sisters in Christ, that they may gain perseverance in Jesus name. Amen.
I've never spoke in tongues; I've never prophesied over someone; I've never seen any visions, and I've never heard the audible voice of God. This frustrates me. At times, I beg God for any one of these things, such as a vision, or to hear God's audible voice, and believe me friends, I've prayed earnestly. I so long to hear God's voice, but I am always found wanting. I get frustrated with God, and often times, I remark "so you love others enough to speak audibly, but not me?" Oh, the stories I hear of people who have heard God's voice. Oh, the stories I hear of people who have seen miraculous visions, and Oh, how I have seen people prophesy as though they were speaking for God himself. I get so angry with God when he is willing to do these things for his other Children, but not for me. Do any of my brothers or sisters reading this understand this frustration with me or have you all experienced such a wonder? I you have not, do not be frustrated with our God. For I hope to explain in part why our God has not done such things for some of us. Always remember my dear Child, God cannot be tamed or controlled, but he is good.
When in these times of frustration, I say to God "what if I do this for you, than will you show me this vision, or allow me to speak in tongues, or let me hear your audible voice?" My God, forgive me for how greatly I have understood your ways. For you are not a God of "give me this and I'll give you this". You are a God of "look what I gave you, give me everything". God needs nothing from us, but wants everything from us. We can give nothing to God that is great enough to receive something from God. Do you understand that my friends? If we give God all that we have earned, and all of our lives, and all of ourselves, this is still not a great enough thing to receive that which God has to offer. We can give God all ourselves, but still we deserve no salvation. We can give God all of our money, but will still deserve nothing in return, for the finite things we give do not compare to the sins that have made us filthy. So then, we pray, we give, we love, we persevere, we are joyous, we praise, and we live for God not because we earn anything by it, but because we have been changed by the Holy Spirit living within, and there is therefore no other possible response that a true child of God could give.
My child, we do not give because we will receive, we give because we have received. For the love of God is great and because of such a love, our bodies are used as vessels for Christ. Do not be angry with God when he does not give you the things that you desire, for he is building you, testing you, and making you new through your continuing faith. Be joyous because of what God has already given you; such as life, love, and salvation. Only on God's time will such wondrous works be done. In closing, let me share with you what prompted this post.
"Then they laid their hands on them and they received the Holy Spirit. Now when Simeon saw that the Spirit was given through the laying on of the apostles' hands, he offered them money, saying, 'Give me this power also, so that anyone on whom I lay my hands may receive the Holy Spirit.' But Peter said to him, 'May your silver perish with you, because you thought you could obtain the gift of God with money! You have neither part nor lot in this matter, for your heart is not right before God. Repent, therefore, of this wickedness of yours, and pray to the Lord that, if possible, the intent of your heart may be forgiven you.'" - Acts 8:18-22
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