Confessions Of An Egotist

There are certain things in life that totally terrify me.

Junior-High campus is one of those things.

Some people are afraid of a lightless room, others are afraid of 8-legged monsters, I'm afraid of small, mysterious creatures that have the ability to make you feel inadequate whenever they like. What's worse? They are completely unaware of their super-power.

But what really scares me about going to influence Junior-Higher's on their turf? I'm afraid they won't like me. At least that's the just of it.

You see, the Junior-Higher's have a weakness. They have a kryptonite. They are incapable of effecting people who's ego is void. Their power is only able to influence a person's ego, thus when the ego is non-existent, they are powerless.

But it is a painful process to let go of the ego -- to make the Ego void -- isn't it?

And not just painful but confusing. How do we let go of the ego?

You probably know the answer.

The Ego desperately wants to control our decisions. "Don't do that," says our Ego, "because it will make you look stupid." Or, "Do that because it will make you look good." The Ego constantly avoids deflation and encourages inflation. And we feel valuable or invaluable based upon how inflated our Ego-Balloon is.

The answer?

When the Ego says, "Don't," do. Intentionally do things that frighten the Ego.

So, what frightens your Ego?

What I Learned About God By Walking Through The Wilderness

What is most interesting to me on my first day back to normal life is the extra energy it takes for me to find joy. 

On the trail, the dumbest of jokes, the tiniest act of kindness, or the smallest amount of comfort always lifted my spirits. But here in the life that we all consider “normal”, I experience less joy because I am denied no comforts. I experience less peace because my worries are artificial. I experience less love because I rarely deny myself. 

Ironically, in the midst of plenty, I experience not thankfulness, but fullness. And not the sort of fullness that Jesus offers — not the sort that satisfies — but a fullness that leaves me feeling empty, unsure of what else I could possibly acquire to make me more comfortable. It’s a fullness, I think, that needs to be quenched in order to experience the fullness that God offers. 

There is a genuine experience of God’s fullness when we deny ourselves. 

So how can we deny ourselves in our everyday lives. Here are a few ideas to wrestle with.

1. Live more frugally so that we can help those who need help without expecting anything in return.

2. Give grace to people who are inconsistent, irritating, or frustrating to us.

3. In exercise, push ourselves to an uncomfortable level.

4. Invite someone over for dinner, sacrificing an evening to spread a little love.

5. Follow through on those plans you would really like to cancel on.

6. Tell someone how much you appreciate their influence in your life. 

7. Stop looking in the mirror.

Confident Assurance

I'm currently reading through Jerry Bridges' The Gospel For Real Life and though I have a fair amount of disagreements with what he has to say in this book, one thing struck me this morning. Speaking about pursuing Christian virtues, Bridges says, "However, the doing of these things...is not the basis of the rich welcome. Rather, it is the means...whereby we make our calling and election sure. In other words, it is a way we assure ourselves that we have been made new creations in Christ and do have the hope of eternal life."

Maybe take a second to read that one more time.

Wow. I know it's true that our works are not the justification for our access to eternal life, but I never thought about the fact that our sinlessness and our pursuit to become more like Christ are simply a way to assure ourselves of our coming inheritance. In other words, we can be filthy rotten sinners who are committed to Christ, and by Christ, we are justified before God, but by living this way we will lack the confidence that God prompts us to have in this life.

Does this make sense?

In John 10:10, Jesus told us that he came to give us abundant life. But this abundant life is only accessed when we truly give up our own sinful desires and focus our desires on Christ. Christ offers us the confident assurance in this life of His coming Kingdom and of our place in that Kingdom, and in order to engage with that confidence and with the abundant life that Jesus offers, we must pick up our cross daily and follow Christ.

Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." -- Matthew 16:24-25